Getting off to a good start (Part 1):


Getting off to a good start (Part 1):

Marry the right person and for the right reasons.

This is a sure way to a good marriage, being sure of yourself;  be sure about who you are and the things that make you happy is important.

Don’t marry because you require financial assistance or for reasons of loneliness or possibly due to your trying to fill a gap in your life.

It’s time to think about listing to both your heart and mind and consider how you need to complement one another. You need to be equals and on the same wavelength regarding the many issues and aspects of married life.

A marriage should be built on a solid foundation in order for your marriage to have the best chance of success.

I mean who wants a domineering wife or even a wimpy husband, you only have yourself to blame should things go array.

Emotional stability, mutual respect, and understanding is imperative.

  1. Knowing yourself

We are complex beings and understanding this about ourselves is very important. We don’t simply turn on and off like robots and requiring reboot when not in a good space. We are who we are, a complex for of life. Your partner is not like you and assuming as much is a sure way of going down the wrong track.

You cannot expect your partner to complete you; that would be asking too much to ask of your partner.

One needs to consider the aspect of cockroaching. Getting advice and fulfillment from various people and associations, be it a friend, family member or colleague or in some cases where required a professional.

Various people will add to your life and it’s for you to appreciate this and understand it.

As an individual, you should have your independence i.e. your own sense of identity. It’s ok to go for a run on your own or meeting friends for a few drinks after work.

I recall someone being too afraid to let their spouse know that they were having breakfast with a couple of colleagues on a Monday morning whilst knowing his wife was at work and the guilt of him sitting there sipping his strawberry milkshake. This sort of behavior should not take place, you need to feel free to be independent and not fear or justify the need to keep your spouse up to date with your every move…

Resist the temptation into thinking a man and woman’s brains are wired differently. Many women seek an affectionate man in their lives, a man able to express his emotions and who enjoys kissing and cuddling and does not mind the occasional shopping spree.

There are however certain behavioral tendencies that exist between sexes and getting to grips with this is important. Some women enjoy a relaxing bath; let her be, go read the news or something. Understanding that makeup may take 10 minutes and not 5, rather factor this into your departure time.

Respect what each of you brings to the party. The old adage of hunter vs gather, the notion thereof going back to the caveman days.

To be continued…